Monday, October 27, 2008

Roadside Dhaba: A Taste of India

I stopped at the roadside dhaba just beside the National Highway.
The night is cold, the wind blowing with disguised teeth, sky clear with shining stars. The lights of the bikes are cutting sharply all edges of the darkness. The silence of the night, the faint cry of a night bird , the emergence of any distant sound..all merging with busy sounds of the Dhaba.
While traveling from Agra, a nice spot to stop.
A nice place to relax your body and eyes. You can remain quite but you can see a lot of colours, flavours and spices of life.
Trucks are coming in large numbers….the drivers getting out and ordering lassi , tea and then talking in regional accent with other truck drivers. Hindi, Punjabi are the most frequent in this Agra-Delhi highway, still Gujrati is also heard….the radio is on ….both in the Dhaba and the parked Trucks….tunes of Himesh Reshamiya….Kajre Re….Tere bina jiya jai na….all going in random thanks to Channels of FM…. The passing on of running Trucks, cars in lightning speed….the flashes of their headlights cutting the darkness into pieces….suddenly someone shouting, ‘Arey Raju, kahan mar gaya?’….the coming of the answer from inside the Dhaba….the smell of Tarka,( a preparation of pulses), the clinging sound of spoon and glass mixing sugar in lassi ….the smoke of tea rising from the aluminum teapot kept over the furnace….the 80 power yellow bulb hanging from the bamboo wall….some birds sitting on the thatched roof , flapping their wings ….preparing to fly for the day….the small boy in this darkness also running swiftly to serve the food…. The Dhaba is alive….these Dhabas hardly sleeps ..
And then came the food.
Chappati and Mutton Roganjosh!
With piece of onion, lemon kept on the dish.
Delicious!
I can bet even food of afive starrer hotel would think to compete with this flavour.
After food again ride and move.
Don’t worry when you need to stop you will definitely find another Dhaba.
A place where you can taste and share real India!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Love in the Desert Rain























It was one of those special nights in Jaisalmer.
Jaisalmer..A city of desert..a city of history..a city of Rajputs..a city once captured by the Khalji dynasty. And it is also a city of very simple people who smiles at every word keeping their daily hazards of poverty and pains in shadow.

It was a quite night, after dinner I just went for a walk around the hotel when suddenly I felt something.
Something new happened.
Something touched my hand.
I looked up towards the sky.
And once again the touch came.
The touch of water droplets.
Little liquid drops of sheer amazement in this city of desert.
And soon it started raining.
Clouds floaked in the vast sky.
Winds rushed.
Sands gripped the roaming air.

And within that from all around came running people shouting almost chanting, ‘Barish! Barish!’(Rain..Rain!)
Their eyes full of wonder, happiness and ecstacy.Some hugged each other,some ran across the desert,some jumped,some shouted in their local dialects..there..in front of me lay a group of local –people to whom today again is a night of magic! As clouds hardly stops at Jaisalmer. In the whole Rajasthan broadly. Maybe this rain came after 3-4 years!
Thus to all these people..the colour and touches of rain appeared special.
Special like the first touch of a woman!
And at that moment within the vast epitome of the brown sand dunes and the ripple marks I saw a girl.
She is hardly twenty.
And she like an open spirit running all over the desert!
Her hairs open like a fountain.
Her face blushing with some innocent godly beauty.
Her naked feet creating ripples all over the sands.
Her yellowish Choli(blouse) and green ghagra(skirt) getting wet and soaked in rain.
I got mesmerized and went on looking at her.
A mere local Rajasthani girl appearing in my eyes as the most beautiful lady of the world.
Again the splashes of rain.
Again the winds sharp.
Again the lightning blue through the white desert.
Again far across..two camels along with a caravan move on slowly..bells ringing from their neck.
Again the rain drops touching and pouring down the girl’s body.
Her hair.Her neckline. Her breast. Her hands.Her feet.
And her lips.
Wet lips.
Winds crossed her and swept me.
I shivered.
The winds carried something more with it than the rain.

Beneath the Golden Fortress on the top of the mountain..within the seven hundred years old city..within the scattered broken historical buildings..the smell of a local Rajasthani girl of Jaisalmer slowly spreaded throughout my body..
A smell..a fragrance of a silent love.
I kissed it!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Alone in a Lonely Station..






It was twenty past twelve.
And through the shades of midnight the Rajdhani Express suddenly halted.It was unexpected as Rajdhani stops only in some stations..clearly it was nothing but a matter of signal..I can hardly take bed so early thus I stood up and peeped through the glasses.

And I got stranded.
A beautiful night awaiting for me outside.

The station was totally empty..over the glasses I saw some yellow green leaves running scatterdly over the platform in winds..sky clear..stars shining at regular intervals.

It became tough for me to remain within the train.
I walked from the AC –Sleeper class,opened the door and stepped into the station.

As my feet touched the platform, a wind swept me which bear an unknown fresh smell
.Is it a smell of the soil?
Is it a smell of the cattlefields?
Is it the smell of the tree, its branches?
Or is it the smell of the night?
I don’t know but I felt the smell contains ingredients from all of it.

I looked front. There was no trace of any signal.

I started walking. The scattered leaves now roamed over my feet.
The wind blowing in different tunes..the sky looks amazing..no trace of clouds..a faint moonlight spreading herself over this unknown station at this particular night..the air is cold..

I stared at the mesmerizing view of the night which lay before me.

The station though almost empty has a view of solitary loneliness..only a light of the lamppost of the station glowing and pouring on a banyan tree..the tree is old with numerous branches..some green..some yellow..some without leaves..some with leaves shaking in winds..throughout the station beneath the the blue sky the banyan tree with all its shades of colour and spreading of green leaves among the yellowish image resembling as if the only symbol of life..behind the plots of cattlefields..behind some bushes..I saw ..quite far from here..a hazy layout of a steep plateau like structures..from which direction the winds are suppose to be blowing..there was hardly any sound in the place except..the clattering of a night bird..the flapping of its wings..a dog running through the fields parallel to the tracks..a cow standing in the night over the grazing fields..sometimes nodding its head unconsciously..all pictures of loneliness..all a piece of singleness trying to hold the epigraph of time..of life..all sketches of solitude..all pictures of a different world which made this night,this moment,this station so very precious to me..

I thanked God that the train stopped here..

It was really unique..far from all the resemblance of our known world..far from the sorrows and daily struggles of survival..this night showed the vast epitome of the world..lesson of feeling the world for some moment instead of only running and searching for meaningless worldly things..a desire of surrender to this world..to open myself completely and absorb all the wonderful gifts that the nature had to offer..a raga of timeless sensations..a feeling of individualness which can be so pure..so mouthful of essences of rendezvous..

But at that moment the signal was shown.
The green light flashed.
I boarded the steps of Rajdhani.
The train started slowly.
The yellowish platform passed.
The beautiful banyan tree passed.
Its dancing leaves passed.
The blue sky with numerous stars passed.
And then passed the ‘board’ on which the station name was written.
The light of the station as well as the moonlight fell on the name.
‘Paharganj’.


I came back to my seat.
Through the looking glass I saw moonlight kissing all corners of the earth outside.
The outside world with all its people and their emotions was running again parallel to the train.
Another station came.
Passed.
Another came.
Passed.
But I know I can never forget this remotestation which gave me nothing but a sense of solitary individualness..and gifts of unpredicted beauty!
And another thing..
A smell of lonely romanticism!


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

One Night at Chittore




I really wanted to spend a night in Chittore.
And thus when one day I got a chance I took it.
I was struck in work there and thus have no option but to stay a night there.
From the day I started loving History, from the day I became a student of archaeology,and the day I became an Junior Archaeologist….it was a dream of mine.To face history….to spend nights in historical places.
I finished my dinner within ten thirty and then came and sat down in a chair. The sky was filled with spongy clouds which is kissing the moon and adoring her light. The wind was blowing gently though it also sometimes brought dust with it.
After taking an hours rest and when no one in the whole house seemed awake I slowly slipped out of the house. I started walking slowly. I took the road towards the fort. It was a steep sloppy surface . the sky is now totally clear and the moon was shining in her own majesty. The moonlit night was slowly gripping the night of Chittore.
I passed the temple of goddesses Kali. I passed some houses built of rocks which had their origin in last three to four centuries ago. Within some wrecked houses I found fire was burning. Maybe in this cold weather some shelterless person earning warmth.
A shadow of a person appeared before me in distant near. The shadow almost tottering came towards me and then asked ‘Brijesh keya? Lakhan ka dukan keya bandh ho gaya?’(A meaningless question to someone )I ignored him and went on walking. That person again said something. It was useless answering him as he was drunk and not in sense.
The wind touched me with a splash. I looked upwards. Clouds were gathering and breaking up. Much like my feelings ….astonishment..wonder..joy..happiness..yet a feeling of despair all coming..gathering .. and then breaking up.
To the left side of mine was total empty steep slopes ran down almost down to the foothills of the town. In my right side broken houses ,scattered pieces of rocks some illegible memorablia, almost like an inscription, numerous bushes and trees and dark dimmy small houses on the steep slopes….and more than anything a different strange smell..a smell which denotes old things existing in the present day earth which is itself an amusing and pecuiliar feature.
I came down to the gate of the fort. There ought to be some security here but I cant saw any one of them. I smiled. I went inside and thought if anybody asked me my motive for such an night ride it would be difficult to explain them. But what would not be difficult was showing them my ID card of A.S.I.
A whole new world awaited inside. It was simply mesmerizing . The light of the moon now flooded everywhere. I came and sat over a rock near Vijay-Stambha which Rana Kumbha has built to commemorate his success. It was a glorious architecture symbolizing the best specimen of Rajput architecture. I have seen it numerous times but never in such a moonlit night. I have seen moonlit Taj , this is an experience comparable to it. The tower of Vijay-Stambha was looking totally white as if it was built of marble and it seems the white light was pouring down from there to the ground and then throughout everywhere. The moon light has started writing a lyrics in her own tune in the modern world with themes of past.
It was a night which I never forget..
I went to Chittore later also sometimes.
But never found that sizzling touches of moments like that night.
May be I have changed..may be I have become old..thus lost those senses of romanticism..
But still remember that one night when..
Time stopped at Chittore!

Monday, October 20, 2008

The woman on the banks of the Ganges..


The woman was sitting at the same place over a rock in the banks of the Ganga river.
It was the third day consecutively that I found her on the same spot.
Her anchal of the blue saree gently blowing in the wind, her sleepers lay in the sand, her naked feet playing with the grains of sand , marked with all signs of unconciousness.
Her eyes looking at a distant though it seems, that she is hardly looking at anything particularly.
She looks very impatient, restless.
I am staying in Hardwar for last one year. I never found any woman sitting in such a posture with negligible movement of limbs.
The woman captured my attention. I stopped walking and came and seat over a bench near the river.

It is quarter to five now in the morning. The first rays of sunlight slowly getting visible in the vast sky which just shaded off the colour of the night. The breeze that is coming from the Ganges is wet, fresh and lively. The surrounding blue hills slowly assuming the golden light of the sun. Numerous birds flying with their colourful wings. The sweet swinging sound of the river water gradually getting mixed up with other colloquial sounds as the city is getting awake.

Ganga is beautiful here. She looks like just a virgin glorious young lady who goes on with a distinct pride of beauty and innocence.
She is much stable here. She is much reserved.
It is really wonderful to see the Ganga river flowing in three differnt portraits.
In contrast to Hardwar, the river had much speed in Hrishikesh and in Lachmanjhula
she is too fast, bubbly and hilly with great speed as she is just coming down from the glacier of Gomukh.
Hardwar is getting busy. If you are a visitor it is the best time to enter Hardwar.
I first came to Hardwar in my college days through Doon Express and I entered the city
during this time.

It was winter….the morning fog covering a large part of the road though the sky slowly getting clear….the tangas moving with the horses ….from all the roads people walking towards the Ghat …. Numerous pilgrims..local people.. from eight to eighty walking towards the river carrying towels in their back and a mug( locally called ghati) in their hand, needed for taking a dip in the water and for the Suryastaba( Prayer to the Sun) as the first light appears in the sky….there was a tremendous hubbing sound near the ghat .sound of so many people talking, chanting , whispering….pandas calling from the roadside in numbers ‘Baba Daksheswarer darshan hobe?’, mainly in Bengali(Calling for a visit and worship of the Lord Daksheswar) ….hawkers also selling their goods among which you can get everything….people of all caste, religion can be seen there.. it was wonderful and stunning ..as before me lay.. a mini edition of India.

I walked along..
Looking at the woman..
She became the greatest mystery to me..and also the subject of interest.
I thought of going to her and breaking her solitude but can not.
I have no right to interfere in her personal matters or her silence.
From next day she was not there.
But I remember her still.
I doubt whether I can forget her anyday.
As she remain a picture of loneliness..melancholy silence to me..
Or may be she would remain to me as a poem with lyrics of uncherished moods..forever!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

As she came in the Norwester rain..

It is five past five.

And the evening had suddenly disappeared among flocks of dark clouds . The march of those clouds is threatening enough to break the rhythm of normal life. Some sort of urgency has gripped the streets….people swiftly moving from one place to another….

Cars running with headlights on….hawkers pulling up cover on their commodities….

The scent of wind gradually spreading the message in lips and bounds….and with every second the earth seems waiting for something to happen….

Another slash of wind.

The message which came as a rumour now turned into reality.

Monsoon halted at Park Street.

The clouds within fractions of moment started milking water….and rain came down.

A torrential rain.

When the first drop of rain touched me I am crossing the road….my umbrella looking like a mere laughter and I ran towards the steps of Music World.

I got a bit protection under the shade.

But I got worried.

How would she come?

The distance from her office to here may be a minute’s walk, but in this rain it is sure to be take much more time and the walking among these cosmopolitan ruffians would surely be far from easy.

I am getting mad to think what should I do….I am always impatient….now to the extreme. Once I thought I should move towards her office but it would be really a hand-clapping sight if instead of her I meet her boss looking toward me with numerous questions scribbled on his face with hints of added spice and gossips!

I started walking restlessly….and at that moment….

I saw her.

She is walking as usual calmly….every steps bearing the undaunted significance of a confident woman….her face in this darkness also holding a light as if declaring the images of the lost evening sun….her blowing hairs writing some fantasy among the hazardous atmosphere….her beautiful red kurta and yellow salwar reciprocating her madly beauty….the drops of rain on her red kurta disappearing almost flawlessly without leaving a mark….a picture of naturalism which made me remember ….a landscape of Abanindranath Tagore….the master of naturalism….her eyes searching for me…. a feeling which is itself enough a reason to live a thousand life….her lips touching each other as if to discover those moments ….in which some words comes to heart but never spoken through lips….a soothing symphony of undescribed emotions….

She saw me….

She is coming towards me….

My heart still runs faster.

After so many days still whenever I see her I feel that I am seeing her for the first time.

I love her.

She is coming towards me….I forgot about the heavy rain….I forgot that my umbrella is almost blown away….I lost from my mind totally that in this rush I should save my pocket, Park-Street being like a holy place of the pick-pocketers….I hardly heard that

Cars, taxis, bikes are fiercely blowing their horns….I hardly saw that the Traffic signal is irritatingly sluggish and got stranded in red light as Rahul Dravid does in 99….I did not care about the cover of the book-stall in front of me is almost falling on me after not managing any traces of friendship from the rainy wind….

I only saw that she is coming….

A picture written with pure words of mesmerisation and beauty….

She is crossing the roads….

She is coming near and near….

She.my love. When ever I saw her I feel that I am in front of a vast sky which has no limits. Much like Tagore’s writing I can say that whenever she comes towards me….

I realize that there are many things in between me which is only meant for her….

The more I know her ….the more I doesn’t know her….the more I feel her ….the more I

possess the urge to adore her….She is like a deep ocean to me which touches shores ….only to show that she is unreachable….her real beauty lay in the freedom ….the vastness….the horizon….

It is a moment which became immortal!And it made life looks a bit more beautiful!


Friday, October 17, 2008

Crossed Fingers

Crossed Fingers




Sneha

Scattered clouds. Roaming winds. Bluish white sky. And smell of sea.
The night couldn’t have been better. And after dinner to stroll is the best in this weather.It appears that I have a spring in my steps.I felt like running. But I like also this casual slow walk towards the sea.As if I am slowly and steadily preparing myself to surrender to the eternity. And I am always crazy for that moment! After a long time I am again here..only me and the sea. And where in India Brown sand..indigo sky..green sea merges? Guesses?
Its Goa!
Thus when yesterday Friday evening when Ron-(scrapped from Ranvijay) came to me and tell his plan about Goa I jumped!
This must be a brainwave!
We called Abhi(again cut from Abhimanyu), he though now a days looks a bit groovy for his new crap project thankfully agreed also.By eight we are in Cafetaria of office and by 10 we are sailing in Innova! Though its month end, though the pocket is bit tight but any way we are on our way!
After all we are from office days The Terrific Three!
And our friendship started from a very unique moment.
We three got through the campus but still we hardly know each other just faces known.
I got the first project after a hack of two months training in Gurgaon ,
The day when my train was that very day Mamata bannerjee the great lady of Bengal decided that it is a golden moment to obstuct the road, thus when I reached Sealdah , it was five minutes for Rajdhani to depart..I ran..while surfing through coaches the Whistle came and at that moment one door opened and a hand came out..I caught it and then another hand came to hold my another hand..the first one was Ron and the second one was Abhi! Thus started our trilogy!

Cool breeze came and swept me..far ahead garlands hanging over the sea..a large ship and small boats sailing away..roaming clouds giving ways to glimpses of moonlight at regular intervals..a bunch of sea-gulls flying..small thatched huts lighted in small bulbs at along the beach..some boatmen walking gently over the sands..some foreiners drinking beer..sketches of night Goa slowly changing its tune to the midnight..

I walked..I saw my watch..
Its almot 12..
And there is the Sauza Lobo Hotel
And here is the Calangute Beach..

I stopped. I thought about the SMS just after dinner today which flashed in my mobile:

“Plz meet me below Sauza Lobo
Calangute
Sharp at 12 midnight
I will wait”

I am on my spot.
But I can not see Abhi.
I stopped .
I waited.
As another cool sea wind washed me the question again came in my mind..
Why Abhi called me at midnight..Why?

Abhi

Well I am perfect from all other side but the least punctual, thus I am not a good tolerable boyfriend to girls,and when some think of me like that the day when we fixes an appo that was the end of that. Sneha is the only girl who never slapped me when she waited for me many times..she is just an angel..but I doubt and surely know that patience also have a limit. But today I want to change all those..may be I also want to show that I am a perfect man..with responsibilities..

Its fifty past eleven..I almost ran through the sands..I thought about Sneha..the day we became friends from that day she did many thing for me..cooked for me by her own and brught lunch..reffeered me and brought me in her project ..though now we are again in a separate project..she was always there in my bad times..helped me in many technical knowledge and training and all those stuffs..she is a gem of a friend..and though I thought many times about surrendering myself to her..but can not..but today I would surely do..

I passed two children locals building homes with sands..
I stopped and looked..I have to start building my dreams today..I again walked on..
I am getting tense4d..Can I really teel it to Sneha?
I took a long breathe..yes..I would..
There is the Sauza Lobo..
I am almost in Calangute there..

I am getting tensed but also along with that I have a feeling of unexplainable happiness..
As I thought about the SMS after dinner in my cell:

“Plz meet me below Sauza Lobo
Calangute
Sharp at 12 midnight
I will wait”

I start running now.
The SMS incident is just the alarm I needed.
It is truly “ Deemag ki Batti jala diy” case!

While walking through the beach I though an not help asking myself a question..
Through the cool wet winds I thought “
Why Sneha asked me to meet at this midnight..will she is going to propose me first?
Ron

A big wave is coming.I stood up and faced it while standing over the wooden stand of the small boat. The boatman shouted “ Turn Back Sab” ..I ignored him.
I know it can be dangerous and thus I love challenges and what is life without challenges? The wave came. It hit me like a storm. For a moment I thought that I would be swept aside and would be thrown into sea.And while I found myself suffocating in water a face blossomed up over my eyes..a beautiful face..soft tender with goddess smile and I lost myself the moment I saw her..broadly when from the doors of a train I caught her pinkish hand and pulled it towards me..Sneha..yes Sneha..and the moment when I found that I am going to be in the sea I caught hold over the wooden stand..like the last support and with my closed eyes I found that between life and death lies she..Sneha..my ultimate passion.
The wave went. I sat again over the boat. Wind is rough clods flocking in..is it going to rain? It can..moonlight quite less now..

The boat man said “Apko bola tha sab! Abhi mat aaiye..Mausanm thik nehi hai!”
Yes the boatman did warned me but I forced him.
I need to go out of the shore.
I thought what should I do staying in the shore?
And how can I ?
I thought may be some day I would tell Sneha about my feelings..but I thought she never thought me like that way..always with Abhi..bringing lunch for him..referring him as he is bit down in tech fundas..and when she is with me she is so quite..hardly talks..
I thought one day I would propose her surely..but each day when I prepare myself I found that Sneha talking about Abhi..and I resign for my planning of proposing her..

The sea is getting rough..sky cloudy it is surely going to rain..
I looked at the vast sea..the sky the eternity which lay at front.
I am feeling lonely very lonely..
Beacause I am feeling that I am no more a good human being!
Any man who worshipped her love and thought about getting her how can do that diplomacy? And with whom? With one of his friend?

I have lost myself.

I saw at my watch ..its 12.05AM midnight.
I pressed into my Message Box.
And then with fast fingers wrote the message.
And then send it.
Multiple options.
To Abhi and Sneha.

Sneha

‘Abhi, whats up?’
I asked the first question to Abhi as it is almost two minutes that we met in Calangute and like a shit first time lovers are totally mum.So no other way I have to open my account.

But still Abhi quiet. I pushed his shoulder, “ Hey man , I think you called me here to tell me something..right?”

Abhi now stared at me and the said,

“What? Sneha, you have called me dear!”
I am surprised like a crap and thought Abhi must have lost words manytimes like early.

I called you for what, Abhi?
‘The same question I am asking you..”
‘But its you called me..’
‘Abhi, need a slap..its you who called me.’

So lets check the SMS.
And so we both opened our Inbox and the Message.
And like a bullshit we both have the same message!

Who is it then?

Our question before popping up a new message sparked our in box.
I opened it..
Abhi leaned over..

“Guys, I have separated you..Abhi you got
removed from the project because of me
I reffered you to the US Project..
I am Sorry guys..but now we are in Goa
I have brought you here only for that..
Abhi, tell it yaar..Sneha, you can also..
But for God’s sake u2 gt2 promise noy 2 ask me
Why I dis that..
Sneha..it is an unexplainable reason..
4gv me & wnt a Champagne!”

I am totally struck reading the message and need some seconds to got out of that.
And then I looked into Abhi.
He did the same.
Then I rang Ron’s mobile.
It is switched off.
I turned around.
Sky full of clouds..air smells rain..wind harsh..sandgrains filling up the air..
I was about to work Abhi caught my hand..
‘Sneha, I really want to tell you some thing..”
I stopped and looked at him and said ,
‘Abhi, please later on, but now I have a much important work.’
‘What’s that?
‘To find out Ron’.


Ron

Its raining heavily now. Winds almost in a mood of storm. Clouds red, and ligjhtning reflecting the beautiful Goa by night.I jumped off the anchored boat. And then started walking.I am totally wet , I need a shower now, feeling though quite light now.Or may be abottle of champagne waiting me? I hope Sneha would forgive me?

As I reached the tip of the shore I found the beautiful orchestra of strings.
I know this sound.
A Message came in my mobile.
Though the drops of rain I opened it.

“ Our script is already written ..you can’t re-write it..
And I came to Goa with you only for that..
I kept quite..my eyes low..my blushings..
Idiot..can’t you get anything?
If you ever think of coming back..
You plz come below Souza Lobo..
Calangute..
I am waiting..
Ron, I am waiting..”

I start running. Oh! Why the beach has become slipper in rain?
I am running..running..
There is Souza Lobo..there is Calangute..
And there she is..
I told you guys, there lies only one barrier between life and death.
And the she is.
Sneha..my life!






--------------------------------

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

An Evening Affair

An Evening Affair



I parked the car beside the roadside tea-stall.
It is just one km away from ITC Sonar Bangla..it is just across an old banyan tree..it is just a spot where buses never stops but cars sometimes do..just for a break of tea or cigarettes.

But I stopped not for any of these two.
I never stopped here before the last week.
I looked at the watch ..seven forty..five its time ..its time..
I openedthe door of the car and stepped out….
But instead of walking I have to run.
Because it is one of such evening when the monsoon in Kolkata is in full flow.
And for the last four days it is raining..raining heavily..half of Kolkata is under water..
The moment I reached the tea-stall the question popped up in my mind..how long will I wait today..how long..?
I again looked around..
Among these rainy evening the surroundings are looking much clan and there is no doubt that I am in the right spot.
And it is here where she came last weeks.
And that too in an unbelievable manner….
My car was going in quite a speed when through the rainy glasses I found that a figure was standing in the road obstructing the car ..and the undulations of the body..the flowinga anchal of a sarree.. signalizing..she is a woman.

The first day I uttered a slang and moved away.
Second day I was bound to stop otherwise I would crush her.
And as soon as the car stopped the woman peeped inside the car..it was then raining also..strings of her hair floating over her face..and behind her was total darkness..
I can hardly saw her face..I was totally paradoxed by the situation and within that moment the woman uttered.. ‘Yes..I am right..it is you..and the she looked towards me and said.. ‘Can you please come here tomorrow again for once..I have to give you a thing..’ and then creating more mysteries she took a running Taxi and went away..
I thought and thought that night..next whole day..but couldn’t understood a single of this puzzle of the woman..I was in great doubt because in night in bypass to stop for a woman is trotally unsafe and it can be any trap..through my mind rushed incidents about all the Bypass murder and traps throughout India.

But instead of all this thoughts the woman’s voice had something which took me that night at the spot.
And yes..there beneath the banyan tree the woman was standing..
And as soon my car stopped I thought she would come inside my car..but I was wrong and instead the woman said calmly..can you come with me to the tea-stall..?’
I puzzled still thought once of abusing her in slangs but went out of car and followed her to the tea-stall..

And once I reached there she without saying a single word took out from her packet a bunch of copies and handed me.
I took the copy and once I turned over the first page I shouted ‘My God,What’s this!’
And then for the first time I looked at the woman’s face which under 80 power bulb of the tea-stall seems much clear much close.
A splash of wind hit us. The woman removed her sweeping strings of hair and kept her eyes on me.
I was moved..swarms of memories hit me and I with great surprise exclaimed, ‘Aditi!’

The woman looked deeply towards me and said , ‘I am lucky that you still remember my name..’

How can I forget her..just four months ago I met her..in Hazra more and that too not in normal circumstances..I saw a woman was crossing the road and a bus coming rushing towards her..she looked unmindful..forgetting everything I ran towards her and snatcher and brought her towards me..she was totally trembling..and within the crowded Hazra more I clunged her towards my body for once and then said .. ‘For what in the world you are crossing like that? Aopni ki pagal(Are you mad?)..’
The woman nedded some time to come to senses..and when she came she just said.. ‘Thanks for saving life..’
She was palnning to move but I took her to the Doctor..as her right hand was badly swollen and needed an X-Ray and a bit of First-Aid.

Once we are out of Doctor’s Chamber I asked her the address of her home.
‘Can you go alone?’
She smiled.. ‘Would you accompany me in every step of my life?’
I smiled but cannot said anything.
She said, ‘You gave me your card..if I need you I will contact you’
‘But whats the problem in giving me the address?’
‘No problem but I hardly stays there..and where I usually stay you can’t go there!’
‘Why?’
She smiled and holding my hand took a tram going towards Rashbehari.

But I decided that I would find her.
For the next seven days I stood in Hazra More but never found her went to the Doctor’s Chamber but only in vain as she nevaer reported there about her progress.
It was the eighth day when I again saw her and without saying her anything I just followed her. She crossed the Fire-Brigade and then came to Kalighat,
And to my utter shock I found her that she is entering the Red Alert area and soon disappeared among the lined prostitute quarters.
I got stranded. I nodded.
She is right. I cant go where she stays.
I really can’t go.
But still I tried to forget her but I can’t.
I got impatient to see her but I can’t.
And within my daily works..time passes regular duties and office a pair of deep eyes always came before my eyes.
And also another thing swinged in a rhythm.
Her name.
Aditi. Aditi Mukherjee.

Aditi looked towards me.
‘Is there any reason to remember me?’
‘Yes there are.’
‘I don’t think so..I just came here to give you your bunch of copies..in that day when you saved me you are so busy with me that you forget that your copies lied scattered in the street.
‘Before we moved to the Doctor I picked it up..but later on forget to give it back..’next day when you followe me..
‘You know I followed you?’
Aditi smiled calmly..’Women have a gift of conciousness..I know you are following me..
I know you stopped before the Prostitute area..I know everything..She stopped for a moment stared at me and then said ..anyway I am leaving..’
She started to move but I blocked her..you can’t go..you don’t know what you gave back me today..for the last four months I only lamented and got mad that I have lost my childhood,,my youth..my creation..within these bunch of copies..my creativity..my own world..my own freedom..my own treasures are captured..as not a sinle piece opdf these writings are printed anywhere..Aditi you don’t know what you gave back to me..

Night was slowly falling over the by-pass.
The Tea-stall is lively now..crowds scatterd ..smoke arisising from alluminium teapot..voice of Himesh filling the air from FM..a truck driver shouting.. ‘Oi Kashi..akta cha..’ slice of lights cutting through the tea-stall as the buses and cars moving away..wet wind blowing..twinkles of rain falling..
I hold the hand of Aditi..’Please don’t go Aditi..please..’
Aditi looked up..’You cant hold me back also..’
My work is done so I am moving..it is just that I felt you should be given back the copy..you saved my life..I can do this much for you..

‘I want you to meet me another day Aditi..please one day..I need to say you many things..’
Aditi nodded , ‘I don’t know and I would not meet you again..’
I pledged her..’Please Aditi..one day..’
‘If I feel then the same day I would come here next week and If I don’t I would never meet you..’

Aditi started walking .
But she stopped.
Again came back towards me.
She stood before me.
She kept her eyes on me.
Then she opened her lips and said among the smell of rains..

‘You are a brilliant writer. If I never come back again please make your writings in print..please!

She walked away. I stood there with in my hand a bunch of treasure.

It is now one and half hours passed but still Aditi didn’t came.
I am feeling empty and slowly a world of de[pression grasping me.
It is quite confirm that Aditi would not come now.
But if you would never then why you came back Aditi?
You gave me my childhood my youth back but also gave a birth to a submerged almost unknown feelings the fragrance of love. And within this one week I realized that yes I love her..I started loving her from the moment I saved her..from the moment I took her in my chest..from the moment I took her to the Doctor..from the moment she left me alone
and dispppeared..and I am deeply ashamed that I stopped when I saw her entering theProstitute Quarters..I should have try to bring her back from that hell..I should try to find what took her there..and why I never tried to meet her again..why..is it my mental blockage..my superstions..my concept of society..my conciousness that I touched a prostitute..? whats the reason..
I don’t know the answer..but the fact is within these months I never forget her she was always within me..and each day my missing her has indeed increased my love for her..Aditi please come back..please..
Another forty minutes passed away..Aditi didn’t came..
Clouds gathered in sky like nothing and soon it is raining torrentially..the tea-stall almost empty..the politin covers been put down..
I slowly walked towards my car dejected wretched.
I have lost Aditi.
As I opened the car I got a smell which I found only in one’s body.
And indeed Aditi is sitting inside the car!
I can truly believe my eyes..I touched her hand and shouted in joy Aditi you came..you came..
‘Yes I did..just to hear what you want to say..what you can say a prostitute..’
I forgot about everything over her her lips and said ‘Stop Aditi! Stop..please let me say my words..I am dying to say you that..Aditi.. I love you..yes I Love you..and I want to marry you..Will you marry me?’

Aditi tried to say anything but can’t.
I said again..’I don’t want to know who you are..I just know that you are mine..and I can’t live without you..’
Aditi’s eyes holding crystal droplets within the faint light within the car..
‘I know you hate me..’
I bended over her knees..’Aditi believe me..please believe me..I love you from that very first day when I saw you..’
‘I don’t believe you said Aditi in a very soft voice..’If you do then why you stopped seeing me entering the Pros Quarters..why? and why you thought me a prostitute? Why/ Can’t you think me my real picture? Do my images gave you only one picture? Why can’t you think that I can be a girl working in a NGO AIDS Campaign and thus need to go in that place and not a damn sex-worker!’
I got quiet. I feel like kicking my ass as I can’t thought of such a simple picture..as Aditi told..it is simple..really simple..
I hold Aditi’s hand.. ‘I am sorry Aditi..I am a real fool..but please believe me each day after that I remembered you and I found that I love you..You are my life..Please Aditi forgive me..please accept me..
‘No I would not..because you never came second day that do I entered there or not..I myself waited for you also..I thought you would surely come one day..I would found you again oneday in Hazra more..but I never..I thought of going to your office as I have your card which you gave me..but can never went there because I feared that you may would purposely say me as you never met me and show me the door..I accepted almost that I would never get you..but your writings..your emotions..your sensitiveness..your world of creative genious..your pictures of unknown childhood..your sketches of a young boy trying to raise high his head among struggles holding only loving madly his love..Why you write so beautifully..why you made me back..I would never accept you..but would always accept that writer within you who gave me a shelter.. a different world..amazing description of life..and dreams….I would accept him but not you..never..
I kept my fingers over her lips.
Outside world is getting wet in rain.
Winds blowing with an aim of spreading the droplets of the water over the earth.
Aditi again tried to tell something.
But I didn’t Let her.
I hold her face in my hand and said, ‘ I Love You Aditi!’
And then touched my lips in her rosy watery lips.
A kiss.
A deep kiss.



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