Friday, October 17, 2008

Crossed Fingers

Crossed Fingers


Scattered clouds. Roaming winds. Bluish white sky. And smell of sea.
The night couldn’t have been better. And after dinner to stroll is the best in this weather.It appears that I have a spring in my steps.I felt like running. But I like also this casual slow walk towards the sea.As if I am slowly and steadily preparing myself to surrender to the eternity. And I am always crazy for that moment! After a long time I am again here..only me and the sea. And where in India Brown sand..indigo sea merges? Guesses?
Its Goa!
Thus when yesterday Friday evening when Ron-(scrapped from Ranvijay) came to me and tell his plan about Goa I jumped!
This must be a brainwave!
We called Abhi(again cut from Abhimanyu), he though now a days looks a bit groovy for his new crap project thankfully agreed also.By eight we are in Cafetaria of office and by 10 we are sailing in Innova! Though its month end, though the pocket is bit tight but any way we are on our way!
After all we are from office days The Terrific Three!
And our friendship started from a very unique moment.
We three got through the campus but still we hardly know each other just faces known.
I got the first project after a hack of two months training in Gurgaon ,
The day when my train was that very day Mamata bannerjee the great lady of Bengal decided that it is a golden moment to obstuct the road, thus when I reached Sealdah , it was five minutes for Rajdhani to depart..I ran..while surfing through coaches the Whistle came and at that moment one door opened and a hand came out..I caught it and then another hand came to hold my another hand..the first one was Ron and the second one was Abhi! Thus started our trilogy!

Cool breeze came and swept me..far ahead garlands hanging over the sea..a large ship and small boats sailing away..roaming clouds giving ways to glimpses of moonlight at regular intervals..a bunch of sea-gulls flying..small thatched huts lighted in small bulbs at along the beach..some boatmen walking gently over the sands..some foreiners drinking beer..sketches of night Goa slowly changing its tune to the midnight..

I walked..I saw my watch..
Its almot 12..
And there is the Sauza Lobo Hotel
And here is the Calangute Beach..

I stopped. I thought about the SMS just after dinner today which flashed in my mobile:

“Plz meet me below Sauza Lobo
Sharp at 12 midnight
I will wait”

I am on my spot.
But I can not see Abhi.
I stopped .
I waited.
As another cool sea wind washed me the question again came in my mind..
Why Abhi called me at midnight..Why?


Well I am perfect from all other side but the least punctual, thus I am not a good tolerable boyfriend to girls,and when some think of me like that the day when we fixes an appo that was the end of that. Sneha is the only girl who never slapped me when she waited for me many times..she is just an angel..but I doubt and surely know that patience also have a limit. But today I want to change all those..may be I also want to show that I am a perfect man..with responsibilities..

Its fifty past eleven..I almost ran through the sands..I thought about Sneha..the day we became friends from that day she did many thing for me..cooked for me by her own and brught lunch..reffeered me and brought me in her project ..though now we are again in a separate project..she was always there in my bad times..helped me in many technical knowledge and training and all those stuffs..she is a gem of a friend..and though I thought many times about surrendering myself to her..but can not..but today I would surely do..

I passed two children locals building homes with sands..
I stopped and looked..I have to start building my dreams today..I again walked on..
I am getting tense4d..Can I really teel it to Sneha?
I took a long breathe..yes..I would..
There is the Sauza Lobo..
I am almost in Calangute there..

I am getting tensed but also along with that I have a feeling of unexplainable happiness..
As I thought about the SMS after dinner in my cell:

“Plz meet me below Sauza Lobo
Sharp at 12 midnight
I will wait”

I start running now.
The SMS incident is just the alarm I needed.
It is truly “ Deemag ki Batti jala diy” case!

While walking through the beach I though an not help asking myself a question..
Through the cool wet winds I thought “
Why Sneha asked me to meet at this midnight..will she is going to propose me first?

A big wave is coming.I stood up and faced it while standing over the wooden stand of the small boat. The boatman shouted “ Turn Back Sab” ..I ignored him.
I know it can be dangerous and thus I love challenges and what is life without challenges? The wave came. It hit me like a storm. For a moment I thought that I would be swept aside and would be thrown into sea.And while I found myself suffocating in water a face blossomed up over my eyes..a beautiful face..soft tender with goddess smile and I lost myself the moment I saw her..broadly when from the doors of a train I caught her pinkish hand and pulled it towards me..Sneha..yes Sneha..and the moment when I found that I am going to be in the sea I caught hold over the wooden the last support and with my closed eyes I found that between life and death lies ultimate passion.
The wave went. I sat again over the boat. Wind is rough clods flocking it going to rain? It can..moonlight quite less now..

The boat man said “Apko bola tha sab! Abhi mat aaiye..Mausanm thik nehi hai!”
Yes the boatman did warned me but I forced him.
I need to go out of the shore.
I thought what should I do staying in the shore?
And how can I ?
I thought may be some day I would tell Sneha about my feelings..but I thought she never thought me like that way..always with Abhi..bringing lunch for him..referring him as he is bit down in tech fundas..and when she is with me she is so quite..hardly talks..
I thought one day I would propose her surely..but each day when I prepare myself I found that Sneha talking about Abhi..and I resign for my planning of proposing her..

The sea is getting cloudy it is surely going to rain..
I looked at the vast sea..the sky the eternity which lay at front.
I am feeling lonely very lonely..
Beacause I am feeling that I am no more a good human being!
Any man who worshipped her love and thought about getting her how can do that diplomacy? And with whom? With one of his friend?

I have lost myself.

I saw at my watch ..its 12.05AM midnight.
I pressed into my Message Box.
And then with fast fingers wrote the message.
And then send it.
Multiple options.
To Abhi and Sneha.


‘Abhi, whats up?’
I asked the first question to Abhi as it is almost two minutes that we met in Calangute and like a shit first time lovers are totally mum.So no other way I have to open my account.

But still Abhi quiet. I pushed his shoulder, “ Hey man , I think you called me here to tell me something..right?”

Abhi now stared at me and the said,

“What? Sneha, you have called me dear!”
I am surprised like a crap and thought Abhi must have lost words manytimes like early.

I called you for what, Abhi?
‘The same question I am asking you..”
‘But its you called me..’
‘Abhi, need a slap..its you who called me.’

So lets check the SMS.
And so we both opened our Inbox and the Message.
And like a bullshit we both have the same message!

Who is it then?

Our question before popping up a new message sparked our in box.
I opened it..
Abhi leaned over..

“Guys, I have separated you..Abhi you got
removed from the project because of me
I reffered you to the US Project..
I am Sorry guys..but now we are in Goa
I have brought you here only for that..
Abhi, tell it yaar..Sneha, you can also..
But for God’s sake u2 gt2 promise noy 2 ask me
Why I dis that.. is an unexplainable reason..
4gv me & wnt a Champagne!”

I am totally struck reading the message and need some seconds to got out of that.
And then I looked into Abhi.
He did the same.
Then I rang Ron’s mobile.
It is switched off.
I turned around.
Sky full of clouds..air smells rain..wind harsh..sandgrains filling up the air..
I was about to work Abhi caught my hand..
‘Sneha, I really want to tell you some thing..”
I stopped and looked at him and said ,
‘Abhi, please later on, but now I have a much important work.’
‘What’s that?
‘To find out Ron’.


Its raining heavily now. Winds almost in a mood of storm. Clouds red, and ligjhtning reflecting the beautiful Goa by night.I jumped off the anchored boat. And then started walking.I am totally wet , I need a shower now, feeling though quite light now.Or may be abottle of champagne waiting me? I hope Sneha would forgive me?

As I reached the tip of the shore I found the beautiful orchestra of strings.
I know this sound.
A Message came in my mobile.
Though the drops of rain I opened it.

“ Our script is already written can’t re-write it..
And I came to Goa with you only for that..
I kept eyes blushings..
Idiot..can’t you get anything?
If you ever think of coming back..
You plz come below Souza Lobo..
I am waiting..
Ron, I am waiting..”

I start running. Oh! Why the beach has become slipper in rain?
I am running..running..
There is Souza Lobo..there is Calangute..
And there she is..
I told you guys, there lies only one barrier between life and death.
And the she is. life!


1 comment:

chemist said...


Thanks for stopping by my blog, "Traveling Chemist" (! Yes, Califirnia was great - always is, especially Sonoma County (Northern California). Hope I can kep your attention during my next trip which should be to Kuwait. FYI: I work with many of your countrymen in Kuwait. Much of the office staff in Wafra are from Kerala and a few are from Goa.

You obviously have a gift for writing. Keep up the good work and all the best in your new blog!

Traveling Chemist